Sunday, April 8, 2012

Effective Tips to Control Anger



Anger is an emotional signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action. Anger is a natural emotion that every human and many non-human animals experience.

This is a human psyche to get angry when things get worse and something goes wrong. The volume of anger differs from one person to another. Some people get angry even on pity matters while others generally ignore such things.

People express their anger in different ways. Extreme anger brings out the worst in you and can pose a serious problem and sometimes it ruins your life. When it touches its worst form, it becomes hard to control your feelings and you try to express your anger in different ways. Some people express their anger by throwing or smashing things on the ground and some start arguing and quarreling until they calm down.

For instance, if a husband gets angry his spouse can handle the situation by calming him down by being polite and using good words, this can result in a dangerous situation turning in to a pleasant one. Contrary to this, the situation can get worse by exchange of harsh words which would completely get a different result sometimes the situation would get so worse that there is a probability that the relationship might end. A sensible person will anticipate and avert the situation before it turns worse. So it is a must for everyone to control their anger.

Here are a few tips on how to control your anger:
  • Divert your mind and try to leave the place.
  • Take in deep breaths.
  • Drink some water.

  • Have a shower (yeah it does help).
  • Go for a long walk.
  • Chat with someone who makes you happy.
  • Listen to  music that you like.
  • Watch a movie that you wanted to.
  • Do something that is physically exerting such as punching a bag, playing football etc.
  • Repeat this ‘no one can have control over me and make me angry’. This will seriously help you to calm down.
  • Think of a good/funny moment that has happened with you.
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  • Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
  • If your angry at someone ask yourself this question: “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
  • Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Would you have got angry at yourself?
  • Ask yourself: “What is the worst consequence of me getting anger?” It can probably lead something that can be harmful.
Anger is a bone of contention and one of the main causes of many problems in our daily life. Without controlling your anger and feelings you cannot adorn your social and family life. An angry person is not liked by anyone therefore in jobs and other professions, cool and calm employees are preferred.
You can make your life more enjoyable by controlling your anger by using the above tips. Do not let anger spoil your happy life and this can only be possible when you control your anger so be happy and keep smiling.

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Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

No. 1: Take a timeout

Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.

No. 2: Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

No. 3: Get some exercise

Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

No. 4: Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

No. 5: Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything, and might only make it worse.

No. 6: Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

No. 7: Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

No. 8: Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

No. 9: Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

No. 10: Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. You might explore local anger management classes or anger management counseling. With professional help, you can:
  • Learn what anger is
  • Identify what triggers your anger
  • Recognize signs that you're becoming angry
  • Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way
  • Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression
Anger management classes and counseling can be done individually, with your partner or other family members, or in a group. Request a referral from your doctor to a counselor specializing in anger management, or ask family members, friends or other contacts for recommendations. Your health insurer, employee assistance program (EAP), clergy, or state or local agencies also might offer recommendations.

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Let yourself laugh — at them, at yourself and at life. Kids test your patience. They throw things, run around, ask question after question. If you admit from the start that you can’t control them completely, or sometimes at all, you’ll be less upset when they spill something or touch something they shouldn’t or ask for a toy 50 times.   
Ask your kids for help. Let them take care of you a little bit. It’s okay. Kids will respond much more to sincere requests for help than to angry outbursts. It isn’t about laying a guilt trip on your kids, it’s about sparking their empathy. Try these out: “I can’t get you to school at all if you won’t get dressed and that would make me really sad.” “If you don’t get in the car we’ll be late and then I’ll feel like I did a bad job as a mommy.” “When you don’t clean up your room it makes me think you don’t care about my feelings very much.” 
Look in the mirror. Literally. When you feel angry, look at yourself in the mirror. It won’t be a pretty picture. It’s actually pretty hard to stay enraged when you’re staring yourself in the face.
Throw some cold water on it. Wash your face with cold water when things are heating up. It’ll calm you down.

Breathe through it. Deep breath — in and out — will actually help you stay in control. That’s why we tell kids who are crying to take deep breaths. It makes a difference.
Tell someone about it. Don’t reach for your kid, reach for your phone. Call a trusted friend or your partner. Tell that person you’re at wits end and really need to hear something to calm you down. Chances are, you will — a joke or a few kind words — that will really help.

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