Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Married Life


If you have been married for a while and have settled into life with your parents, in-laws, friends etc, you must be thinking that the job is done and now it's a smooth road ahead. Unfortunately, the truth is exactly the opposite. But the good news is that now you are a team and all the potholes that you encounter on this bumpy road will not have to be faced by you alone - your partner is going to be there with you. If you are trying your best and making an honest attempt at retaining the charm of your marriage, following these 10 rules will help you achieve your goal.

DON'T COCOON YOURSELF

Sometimes love is such a whirlwind of crazy joy that you forget that there are other people, things and activities in the world besides the two of you. While this is understandable, you have to have outlets, otherwise you'll drive each other bonkers. Before you met your partner, you were always getting together with your group of friends, hanging out with your family, putting in extra time at the office or taking a few classes to keep expanding your brain. Don't stop. Your marriage will be a lot more interesting if you keep on being the fascinating person you were before you two met. You'll also have a lot more to talk about over dinner.

MARRIED LIFE ISN'T EVERYTHING

Life becomes awfully narrow when your social life revolves exclusively around other couples. So once you're wed, keep mixing things up: his friends and your friends, work friends and school friends, neighbours and family, old friends and brand-new acquaintances, singletons and smug marrieds, parents of twins and the child-free.

DON'T WORRY. YOU'VE STILL GOT IT

When you were single, you met cute guys/ girls everywhere – at the laundry, on the subway, at funerals. Once you're hitched, it's easy to miss the buzz of universal admiring attention. But don't worry, you still have the power. You've just got to take it on faith instead flirting with every other cute person.

RESPECT YOUR IN-LAWS

Your in-laws may be incredible bores, gossipy and nosy, or tacky and embarrassing. Whatever type you've inherited, welcome them with open arms whenever you see them. No matter what you think of them, remember that they are responsible for raising your terrific partner. Even if you really believe that your partner only turned out normal due to some sort of divine intervention, give them the credit.

DON'T COMPARE

There will always be a couple that is funnier, more attractive, sexier, wealthier, nicer, hipper, healthier, smarter, more successful, and more glamourous than you two. But if you are constantly comparing yourself to other couples, you will miss out on enjoying how happy you are just being yourselves.

FIGHT A CLEAN FIGHT

When you were dating and you got into a spat you may have found that slamming doors, crying and racing back to your apartment were effective tools in winning an argument. Your partner would be so lost without you that they would come running over and say sorry. Sadly, the tactic is not going to work now that you are married and living together. You're a lot better off staying calm and staying put to solve a tiff.

BE A TEAM

While you are both successful, independent people, don't forget to cheer each other on, support each other's crazy dreams, and encourage each other to live your best lives. If he's up for a promotion, become best friends with his boss at the office party. If she's always been interested in Greek history, take her there to see it all. Lousy day for your partner? Treat him/ her and their friends to an after-work gripe session at a local pizza corner.

BE FABULOUS

Be comfortable being unconventional, glamourous or unique. Let your hair down. You've found someone who loves you, warts and all, so be the marvelous off-beat person that your partner fell in love with and continue to make an attempt to better yourself for them.

BE ROMANTIC

Sounds crazy but sometimes it's easy to forget what got you married in the first place. Don't stop being romantic, sexy, creative, impulsive, spontaneous and crazy in love now. Take salsa lessons, get tickets for a live concert and go for a date. Most important, don't ever forget the power of an unexpected drop-everything smooch.

BE THANKFUL FOR YOUR PARTNER

There are times when married life will make you think back to your sensational single days with longing and alarm. When the love of your life is driving you bananas, it is time to remember how sexy/ suave/ smart/ sensitive your partner was the night you first decided that they are 'the one'. Remember how lucky you are to have someone who puts up with all of your nonsense. If through everything, you remember to be grateful for landing the most wonderful person on the planet, your marriage will reflect that, every day.

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30 secret of successful Married Life. To live a happy married life, try these ideas
1.    Marriage is a blessing but many people make it a annoyance due to lack of understanding. Receiving and giving love, understanding, care & respect are strong basis of long way run married life.
2.    Whenever an argument arises, try to solve it peacefully.
3.    Keep in mind that no problem is so big that you cant solve it together. No trouble is worth breaking your marriage over.
4.    By celebrating Your Wedding Anniversaries each year. It shows that your marriage is alive and you totally committed to each other.
5.    Keep your relationship a priority and working at it will mean a healthier and happier home.
6.    Try to do something unexpected as sending flowers, gift without any occasion.
7.    If Money is the problem than try to make a stick budget.
8.    Instead of feeling lonely, sad and depress try to share your with your partner to understand you better. Tolerance, a little patience, understanding your partners wishes and respecting his/her opinions are what are required for a smooth marriage life.
9.    Communication is the key to a healthy marriage.
10.    Little Appreciation do wonders in your life, try to appreciate your husband/wife for whatever good you find in your partner.
11.    Take a break and try to spend sometime with each other and Spend quality of time with your companion by going for outings, watch a movie ,weekend holidays at this time listen & speak frankly with your partner on  future plans, carrier.
12.    Make use of "Thank you", "Well done", “Done Great job”, “I m sorry if I heart you, “I Love you so much”, “I m always there for you”.
13.    Care for Each other. If one of the partner healths is not good try to take a leave or call 3 to 5 times a day  for their health and ask have you take a medicine on time. Love you get well soon.
14.    Create Romantic Atmosphere in your life by going for candle light dinner, wear sexy lingerie’s play romantic songs or go for a romantic movie.
15.    Do listen to your spouse carefully and sympathetically. Never ignore.
16.    Early in the morning, both spouses should try to remain calm and cool.
17.    In marriage, each partner grows a balancing role, giving strength and moral courage to one another.
18.    Both husband and wife should show implicit trust for one another and try not to have secrets between them.
19.    If you are not in a city he or she tries to be in contact of your partner. Tell them I m really missing hope you re here with me. Never hesitate in showing your feelings. Express your love foe healthy marriage.
20.    Try to fulfill your wife expectation: Do some household work i.e. making tea or coffee, Need your moral support, loyalty, security, good companionship, great understanding, love,.
21.    Try to fulfill your Husband expectation: love him, Talk politely, family responsibility, Cook good food, Always speak truth ,proper care of children’s, Do saving, Be smart and independent.
22.    To ensure a successful marriage, a couple has to harmonize their lives by minimizing whatever differences they may have between them.
23.    Sex can keep your marriage strong and lack of sex can destroy your marriage talking with one another about these issues and spend more time with each other.
24.    In happy married life, both love and sex are inseparable.
25.    Never compare partner with any one, becoz every one has their own qualities. Always look at the good qualities of your spouse.
26.    Try to keep smiling whatever be the problem.
27.    Understanding plays very significant role in marriage. Great understanding means happy married life.
28.    Try to speak your partner if you done mistake such as "Pease forgive me!" should be sweetest word in married life.
29.    Successful Married Life: Honest + Love + Understanding + Care + Respect.
30.    Happy couples are the foundation for happy families! 

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Everyone wants to live happy married life, but very few succeed. This is prominent from the increase in the divorce rates noted by the surveys. Certainly, the way this generation is living life is taking the toll on their relationships. Specifically, the relationship between the husband and spouse is one that has been suffering a lot. 
Happy married life has now become a dream because many married couples are failing to achieve happiness in their relationship. But, don’t give up if you are facing any troubles in your married life. Here are some tips that would help you to resolve or avoid the problems in your married life and help to live happily forever with your life partner.
Five simple tips for happy married life are as follows—
1. Understanding 
Understanding is the basement of the married life. Until, you understand your partner completely you would not be able to stay happily with your partner. Understanding the likes and dislikes of the partner is prime responsibility in the marriage. So, for this you need to talk freely with your partner. But, don’t try to understand everything in a day. It would certainly take you some time frame to understand your partner completely.
2. Adjustment
Adjustment is the key to happy married life. Both the partners have to learn to do the adjustment. Marriage is not just a fun, it is the relationship that is build on trust and adjustment. You need to do lot of changes not only in your daily lifestyle but also in your habits to live with your new partner. Success of your marriage depends on the adjustment you to do to make your partner comfortable.
3. Love
Love is what your partner needs the most. Never forget to show love to your partner. It is the only feeling in the world that has the power to resolve all the problems in the relationship. Love helps your relationship to strengthen. It brings the partners closer and develops a bond of affection between them and certainly sows the seed for happy married life.
4. Caring
Take care of your partner. This would help your partner to understand that how much you care about him/her. Don’t just care to show it, but do it with your heart and I assure you that your partner would also do the same for you. 
5. Sharing of Responsibilities
Share your responsibilities with your partner will help a lot in development of understanding between the couple. Understand that sharing of responsibility of finance and house work is must for a happy married life. No partner should get the burden of these responsibilities. Sharing of responsibilities would inherit the feeling of respect for your partner that would help to strengthen the bond of love, which would ultimately help to live a happy married life.
These 5 tips are the pillars for the successful marriage.  

Effective Tips to Control Anger



Anger is an emotional signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action. Anger is a natural emotion that every human and many non-human animals experience.

This is a human psyche to get angry when things get worse and something goes wrong. The volume of anger differs from one person to another. Some people get angry even on pity matters while others generally ignore such things.

People express their anger in different ways. Extreme anger brings out the worst in you and can pose a serious problem and sometimes it ruins your life. When it touches its worst form, it becomes hard to control your feelings and you try to express your anger in different ways. Some people express their anger by throwing or smashing things on the ground and some start arguing and quarreling until they calm down.

For instance, if a husband gets angry his spouse can handle the situation by calming him down by being polite and using good words, this can result in a dangerous situation turning in to a pleasant one. Contrary to this, the situation can get worse by exchange of harsh words which would completely get a different result sometimes the situation would get so worse that there is a probability that the relationship might end. A sensible person will anticipate and avert the situation before it turns worse. So it is a must for everyone to control their anger.

Here are a few tips on how to control your anger:
  • Divert your mind and try to leave the place.
  • Take in deep breaths.
  • Drink some water.

  • Have a shower (yeah it does help).
  • Go for a long walk.
  • Chat with someone who makes you happy.
  • Listen to  music that you like.
  • Watch a movie that you wanted to.
  • Do something that is physically exerting such as punching a bag, playing football etc.
  • Repeat this ‘no one can have control over me and make me angry’. This will seriously help you to calm down.
  • Think of a good/funny moment that has happened with you.
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  • Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
  • If your angry at someone ask yourself this question: “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
  • Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Would you have got angry at yourself?
  • Ask yourself: “What is the worst consequence of me getting anger?” It can probably lead something that can be harmful.
Anger is a bone of contention and one of the main causes of many problems in our daily life. Without controlling your anger and feelings you cannot adorn your social and family life. An angry person is not liked by anyone therefore in jobs and other professions, cool and calm employees are preferred.
You can make your life more enjoyable by controlling your anger by using the above tips. Do not let anger spoil your happy life and this can only be possible when you control your anger so be happy and keep smiling.

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Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

No. 1: Take a timeout

Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.

No. 2: Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

No. 3: Get some exercise

Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

No. 4: Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

No. 5: Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything, and might only make it worse.

No. 6: Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

No. 7: Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

No. 8: Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

No. 9: Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

No. 10: Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. You might explore local anger management classes or anger management counseling. With professional help, you can:
  • Learn what anger is
  • Identify what triggers your anger
  • Recognize signs that you're becoming angry
  • Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way
  • Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression
Anger management classes and counseling can be done individually, with your partner or other family members, or in a group. Request a referral from your doctor to a counselor specializing in anger management, or ask family members, friends or other contacts for recommendations. Your health insurer, employee assistance program (EAP), clergy, or state or local agencies also might offer recommendations.

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Let yourself laugh — at them, at yourself and at life. Kids test your patience. They throw things, run around, ask question after question. If you admit from the start that you can’t control them completely, or sometimes at all, you’ll be less upset when they spill something or touch something they shouldn’t or ask for a toy 50 times.   
Ask your kids for help. Let them take care of you a little bit. It’s okay. Kids will respond much more to sincere requests for help than to angry outbursts. It isn’t about laying a guilt trip on your kids, it’s about sparking their empathy. Try these out: “I can’t get you to school at all if you won’t get dressed and that would make me really sad.” “If you don’t get in the car we’ll be late and then I’ll feel like I did a bad job as a mommy.” “When you don’t clean up your room it makes me think you don’t care about my feelings very much.” 
Look in the mirror. Literally. When you feel angry, look at yourself in the mirror. It won’t be a pretty picture. It’s actually pretty hard to stay enraged when you’re staring yourself in the face.
Throw some cold water on it. Wash your face with cold water when things are heating up. It’ll calm you down.

Breathe through it. Deep breath — in and out — will actually help you stay in control. That’s why we tell kids who are crying to take deep breaths. It makes a difference.
Tell someone about it. Don’t reach for your kid, reach for your phone. Call a trusted friend or your partner. Tell that person you’re at wits end and really need to hear something to calm you down. Chances are, you will — a joke or a few kind words — that will really help.